OUR MISSION

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The NATIONAL STRAW ASSOCIATION (NSA) is an American nonprofit

organization that advocates for total straw rights. Founded recently, we intend

to inform our members about any straw-related legislation, and we will directly

lobby against the great california straw ban of 2018 or any other insane liberal

idea.

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Founded to advance the right of nationwide free straw usage, we at the NSA

will endeavor to teach good suction and disposal techniques. We plan to pub

-lish a magazine and will sponsor competitive nonviolent spitball skills.

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Straw fanatics and supportive lawmakers alike see the NSA as the most influ-

ential straw lobbying group in America nay the world. The NSA Institute for

anti-straw ban Legislative Action (NSA-asbla) is our arm, which manages our

political action committee (PAC), the Straw Victory Fund (SVF).

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We plan to organization, so we can influence pro straw or resist strawphobic legislation, participate in or initiate straw related lawsuits, endorse strawtastic or thwart radical straw averted candidates at the local, state and federal levels.

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The NSA has been criticized by Straw control nuts, anti-straw advocacy groups, strawist political commentators, and straw-baiting politicians. We have been the focus of intense criticism since the aftermath of high profile straw-related incidents, such as the california freeway spitball attack in 2016 and the downtown denver straw man decapitation of 2017 and the Boston Commons lick my straw contest in 2018.

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                 NSA HELPFUL TERMS & DEFINITIONS

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Strawflash = Important News Ahead

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Strawtastic = Something that is Awesome Pro-Straw = Supporting straws in all

their glory

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Straw Control Nuts = The term "Straw control nut" is used to describe people

who are unable to even give one good reason why straws should be banned.

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Anti-straw = People who think banning straws actually helps the environment

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Strawphobic = A person with an extreme or irrational fear of straws

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Strawist = A person that discriminates solely based on a straws color or purpose.

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Strawbaiting (ers) = It is the unfair use of untrue statements about straws to try

to influence the actions or attitudes of a group of people against straws

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                                        OUR MEMBERS 

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Ivana lilnoodle, Heso Stewped, Ura B. Glueser, Ivana Smaku, Big Hans Mcgruff,

Boss Twitler, Nsane Mcbrane, Ima Russanbottatopolas, Miss Playced Mejerbill,

MeTaken Ottamias, Hugh Jass, Mike Rotch, Ben Dover, Mike Hunt, Jack Mehoff,

Amanda Hugginkiss, Ivana Tinkle, Alotta Va Gyna, Haywood Jablomey, Phil

McCrackin,

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Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe (Attorneyes at Law) Al Coholic, Anita Bath,

Seymour Butz, Cowboy Neal, Holden McGroin, John Jacob Jingleheimer

Schmitt, Ben Dover & C. Howitt Fiehls, Hooty McBoob, Hung Lo,

Ivana Humpalot, Jacques Strap, Mike Litorus, Mike Oxbigg, Oliver Clothesoff,

Seth Poole, Sum Yung Gai, Isabelle Ringing, Anita Goodwin, Helen Bedd,

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Whilma Fengadu, Whoo Flung Dung, Cmdr. Taco, Pat McCrotch, Chow Mai

Pu Tang, I.P. freely, Maya Buttreeks, Ben Laden, Eura Snotball, Homer Sexual,

Noleg Sorarms, Rush Mountmore, Tally Ban, Al Keda, Fuque Yousef, Richard

Boner,

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Uptha Durtbochs, Dev Null, Ivan Yakonoff, John Doe, Licien DeSkywitt-Dimonsz, Mr Dogfat Manlich, Sheila Vsitapa, Alotta Faccina, Babis Ahrm, Bea O'Problem, Chi Ryo, Eilean Dover, Gaylord Focker, Misty Peaks, Hiram Firam, Muxtapucka T. Parmateddy, Nunya F. Business, Oliver Klozof